I Feel For You: Chakra Con 
A day in the life of a spiritual aspirant
Astro-colleague Stephen Poplin slyly shares this bit of pretend e-mail from one seeker to you. He's even added some of his own to this exhausting tale of one Day in the Life:
I was having an out-of-body experience one day, so I grounded myself and got centered with the help of my spirit guides and almost astral traveled. Wow. Anyway, the phone rang. I sensed the negative vibrations, so I threw the I-Ching and quickly checked my numerology chart and nearly had a primal, but my energy was too blocked, so I did some bioenergetics and self-parenting, took some flower essence and ate an organic oat bran ginseng muffin, but my inner child wasn't feeling nurtured yet, so I had a Rice Dream Frozen Pie too, but that made me hyper, so I did the relaxation response while listening to my subliminal tapes, but I was feeling depersonalized, so I did some polarity work, foot reflexology, and slipped into a past life regression. After my spontaneous rebirthing session, I pulled myself up by my root chakra and felt the beginning of an auric hernia. I called Moon Beam, the bodyworker, to make an appointment for a Shiatsu-Reike-Rolfing-Feldenkreis-Swedish-Japanese-deep-tissue massage, but she was at a sacred ceremony in the Andes, so I decided to energize my crystals and do some positive imagery because all my visualization techniques and affirmations made my space feel invaded, so to get empowered, I got a psychic reading from Mother HeartLove around the issue of my assertiveness so I could feel my radiance and have some energy for my psycho-calisthenics and inversion swing before my harmonic brain-wave synergy session, which made me more focused for my actualization seminar, holistic healing class, and dream-workshop, so I'd be more clear for my Gestalt behavioral cognitive transpersonal Rechian/Jungian/Freudian/Ericksonian session at the hot springs, but my aura was weak for my trance-channeling group, so I fasted until noon to recharge my chakras and I sensed my intuition was high and my cycle was focused, so I turned on my ion generator to open up for my neural-linguistic programming session, but I needed to have my pyramid recharged before my guided synchronicity meditation, so I got some cranio-sacral therapy, which aligned me for the fire walk. Thank goodness for my holotropic breathwork, which prepared me for the deep psychological revelations predicted in my tarot card reading! I started to have a flash-back to my mushroom experience and the walls started to melt, so I quickly focused upon my vipassana meditation techniques in my sensory deprivation tank to bring me back into alignment with my soul purpose. After all that, I felt what I truly needed was a meaningful relationship to mirror myself, so I went to my personal shaman, who told me that all I needed was to love myself; but my quest for a soul mate began to create a spiritual emergency and so I went to my guru, who hit me with his shakti-pa feather. Boy, did my kundalini rise. This soon led, however, to a dark night of the soul, so I signed up for the Intensive Whole Life Earth-Rebirth Cosmic Expo Symposium to find someone who really knew what was going on, but the New Age music was too loud and my aura got stressed. There was only one thing to do: I locked myself in a calcium-coated Orgone Box and went to sleep so I could "get it" in the dream state.
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