Unabomber Haikus

Fun, easygoing
single, white Unabomber
seeks same for love, laughs.

Farewell to tenure
Sniping from the tower clock
already been done

Should I comb my hair
Or should I wear it matted
Judge prefers it combed

Remember when you
Laughed at his fake fur parka?
He remembers, too.

My Daddy said BANG
When he taught me about sex.
I misunderstood.

Ted's fate worse than death:
"You're assigned to prison shop.
Make computer chips."

Do you like my beard?
Please tell me you like my beard
Or I'll blow you up

Machines done ruined
Western Civilization
Think I'll mail some bombs

I have a vision
But I am misunderstood
Do you like my beard?

Option: Suicide
Perhaps I'll send a letter
To myself in jail

Harvard boy--upset.
Didn't get the attention
Of upper class chicks

Ed McMahon of Death
You may already be a
Winner! Open me!

Bad Unabomber!
Blowing people all to hell.
Do you take requests?

Why can't I get this
Stupid computer to print?
Time to buy some stamps.

Manifesto. Oops.
What a giveaway. Next time
No windy essays

Kind of ironic
Hates technology lots but
Has two typewriters

Remember when you
Laughed at his fake fur parka?
He remembers, too.

"Open your present..."
"No, you open your present..."
Kaczinski Christmas

I was your math prof.
You made fun of my weird ways.
It was all your fault.

It's circumstantial
All that stuff in my cabin
I found it all--yeah

How irritable
I've become, wiping my butt
With leaves and tree bark.