The Televisionary Oracle Newsletter
(a private club that anyone can join)

Welcome to issue one, volume one, page one, of the number one attempt by Real Astrology to create an online newsletter. We expect this forum to engage you, intrigue you, and piss you off. We want you to fight with words for beauty and truth.

This is a private joke that everyone can be in on.

We want you to have a place to turn when the mega-death purveyors of crud and war bombard your senses. We want you to act goofy and stand backwards on your head while painting your lover's tongue a shockingly romantic hue of blue. We want you to wring your feet and tap your hands and bat your follicles and beat your heart while walking barefoot on a metaphoric bed of snails.

We plan to hyperlink this puppy all over the place so that you can write in freely, at length, and often. Please know that we have full and intent intentions on using reader responses in this newsletter, so that whatever you say can and will be used in future issues. The quick-spoken legal blahblah is that we reserve the right to edit your work for length and style and libelous curses; please let us know if you would like your name included--it is our intention to do so unless you indicate otherwise.

Squinting narrowly, like Clint Eastwood just realizing that his gun belt is full of Hollywood blanks, we also plan to have our issues hit the virtual stands completely new on the first Wednesday of each month. But check here often, because when the muse takes a running swoop at us, we bend and scamper and there will be changes within each month's issue. Take it and run--it's yours.

--Gretchen Giles
Real Astrology's resident madwoman


The Televisionary Oracle - July 1998


Table of Contents

We Demand That You Read This
Is Rapunzel Blavatsky holding Rob Brezsny a prisoner of the imagination?

It's A Date

  • Original Sin of the Month
  • Dream of the Month
  • Saint of the Month
  • Don't forget to mark your calendar! Wednesday, July 15 is Be Your Own Baby Day!

    Bitch and Moan
    Menstrual Madness--what do Radio Shack franchises and male lesbians have in common?
    The Broken Hearts Club--Learn to live a country music song and love it

    Counter Culture
    Food for thought and other clichés relevant to the cravings of your gastrointestinal tract as it relates to your childhood and libido. Reader Nora Streed writes in about the impossible--beet sushi; also, sauerkraut is for lovers

    Scattershot
    Real Astrology slogans to fool (with the minds of) your friends and family; updates on Rob's novel and music; weird facts you didn't think you wanted to know until it was too late and you read them and now you do know them; and etcetera items. This month: we get ahead in advertising; horrible truths about beautiful Western traditions of marriage in honor of last month's nuptials; geese; and doppelganger sightings

    Letter From Yerp
    Astrologer Eric Francis reports on any damn thing he pleases as he travels the Old Country. This month: Synergisms and a book report


        Home

        Surf the Boulevards network

        to other great alternative

        content sites.